A Developer's Descent: When the Job Search Became a Mental Health Crisis
More Than Code: A Personal Journey Through Mental Illness in the Tech World
Please check the survey results collected at the bottom of this article in the follow up post Mental Well-being and Productivity in Tech: Survey Results
I was living in London, actively seeking a new job as a developer. The pace was relentless; daytime interviews followed by evening take-home interview tasks (I vividly recall pacing back and forth in Eel Brook Common Park, Fulham, voicing out loud my solutions to the technical interview tests).
Early mornings, at 6 AM, required multiple cups of coffee to focus on the day's tasks. With the help of a book I had purchased from Margaret Buj, a former HR director at my previous company, I finally landed a new programmer job, a mere 30-minute walk from where I lived.
In the initial few months, the stress from this entire process exploded in full force, and I completely broke down. I must admit, this is not a common occurrence for everyone; my case is quite specific, stemming from a severe health issue which, if I gather the courage, I will share on this blog someday. I want others in similar circumstances to know they are not alone.
The crisis was severe: I was evicted from my house, lost my job, and a close friend, who was working at a company located on another country , had to take an extended emergency trip to help me. Amidst the chaos, I had booked a return ticket home at Luton to Porto, Portugal. My friend arrived after having searched half of London for me.
Luckily, we met at Luton where I had reserved tickets for 6 AM. My friend had already booked tickets from Gatwick for the following day. So, we took a taxi from Luton to Gatwick at 5 AM, where my friend booked a hotel for us to rest. The rest of the flight I don’t recall very well.
I share this story to ensure that no one, even those with less severe mental illnesses, feel stigmatized by their condition. I hope they find the strength to share their stories and help those who, for one reason or another, find themselves in the throes of mental illness.
Today, I'm doing well, having learned how to manage my physical and mental exertion. I only drink decaffeinated coffee and water. While these aren't ideal conditions, at least I'm productive enough to create value and find happiness.
In order to contribute some value to the community, I've created this survey. It's about the State of Mind in Tech. I encourage you to take it and share it on your social networks with your friends. I’ll show the results in a follow up post as soon as I have a large enough sample.
Thank you all for your time. Enjoy the day!